Picturewise, this is all I'm permitted to show. I think she enjoyed male reaction as she shopped wearing this slinky gown. We met on line---chatted our way past conventionalities and began to talk sex---but not what you might expect. This lady knew something about men that few know---possessed an incredible power to arouse--and had evolved her personal moral code to a new level. We became friends and she slowly yielded to my curiosity---how had she learned all that and what did she intend to do with her powers? Her response: Simply find my mate and be happy.
Now she says she has found him but graciously consented to answer a few pivotal questions for us. I will share that exchange with you after I have set it up.
She's 50, twice divorced, 2 kids and had no lovers while she raised them, never enjoyed sex with her husbands----but resolved to wake up her sensuality after reading the book: THE GOOD GIRLS GUIDE TO BAD GIRL SEX.
With the kids grown she began to enjoy on line connections with men. Patterns began to emerge and the mental side of sex became increasingly clear. And then one day she discovered that her special body exercises had yielded a pleasant surprise: She was multi-orgasmic. Almost at will she could climax herself. Then by phone and internet she began to exchange pleasures with men. She developed the skill of intuitive listening--especially for the hidden hungers buried inside men. Given the right "space" a guy will reveal his quirks. (we all have quirks) "Space giving" is trusted, non judgemental listening. Mix with this-- some playful, "scenario catalyzing" and ecstasy looms into view.
But wait!----there is more-- She also discovered by accident that men who suspect that their partner is not exclusive with them---- will experience an odd blend of powerful emotions---anxiety and super arousal. She learned how to skillfully "play this card" for maximum effect.
(google cuckold fantasy for a fuller explanation)(further research will explain how this wierd bit of evolutionary wiring into males makes sense from the genes point of view--their only desire is to replicate themselves)
With these --"pleasure powers" at her command--she could aim at almost any man and "have" him. And for a time she just enjoyed herself--pointing her pleasure beam at a lucky handful of men. (And yes--she bestowed the pleasure gift on me) (Ah, the things I do for my readers)
Then she turned her attention to mate finding--and apparantly succeeded.
One more thing before the interview: I say she's a hypersexual as a compliment---In the same sense that I would call a Navy Seal a hypersailor.
THE INTERVIEW:
Q. Do you think that being Multi-orgasmic is just a lucky break--genetically speaking or did you train your body?
A. Not a lucky break. After all the years of celibacy, in 2010 I decided to do research on dating. During that research I found information that I could put to use---and trained my body to respond. I had the ability all the time---just wasn't aware.
Q. Do you think many other women could "liberate" themselves physically and mentally?
A It's not impossible for any woman to do the same thing. However, they have to be willing to make changes and have an open mind----And make the changes for themselves---not for the opposite sex. I don't believe I'm any more "highly sensual" than other women---but am receptive: know how to apply and use the knowledge.
Q. On balance, are your special skills a plus or a minus?
A. A plus--If you are open minded and know how to use them.
Q. Why did you tell your guys that they must share you? And did it surprise you when it had the effect of "turbo charging" sex talk.
A. My reason for saying that, was to find out exactly what I wanted, find out what type of men were available, not tie anyone down to a relationship, and not hurt anyone in the process. I also found, many men are jealous and possessive and looking for one woman (and I was looking for one man).
Q.Are you ready now for monogamy? Do you think you could be enduringly satisfied with one guy?
A. Monogamy was always my goal. But I cannot deal with male insecurity (in long term relationship), jealousy, or possessiveness. I've found the man I've been looking for. A woman who is 'turbo-sexed' realizes that every minute of her day does not have to revolve around sexual intimacy. It can be a touch, a smile across a room full of people at a party, arm around your waist, even just a touch of two hands. The right person will cause that shiver of pleasure, and he will know...as she will.
Q. Do you think you've learned things that might be useful to other women in turbo charging their sex lives?
A. My favorite book and the one that got me started was...Good Girls Guide to Bad Girl Sex. Don't have name right now of author - Anyone can do what I did...but you have to have a different mind set, morals, and open to change.
RANDY COMMENTS: Kudos to this brave woman and friend for rising from celibacy to joyful sensuality----for breaking shackles of outmoded moral notions---blazing trail to new pleasures.
I'm not sure what Gandhi or Thoreau would think of this exaggeration of the importance of sex in human life.
ReplyDeleteNor does it seem logically consistent with Kodgerism. If dropping out of the toy/social status/money rat race is an integral part of Kodgerism, why isn't dropping out of the sexual rat-race? (Or call it the relationship-merry-go-round.)
I think our sex drives are "wired in" as surely as our hunger for food. Cultures satisfy both in a thousand different ways---some gross---some refined. Both impulses have and still are evolving in new and interesting ways. Courageous "pioneers"--like this lady lead the way to new, more exquisite pleasures.
ReplyDeleteTry supressing the sex hunger if you will---the Catholic Church did--(does); give it no outlet--and it will grow into a restless monster--underground; bursting out in wierd and unpredictable ways.
@Boonie: Gandhi and Thoreau aside, sex, leading to love is one of the main reasons for living in or out of this rat race. IMO.
ReplyDeleteCastello
Sex in the USA is such a mix of shame, desire, taboos that its a wonder most of us aren't insane. We tell teenagers to say "No" yet sell everything using sex in ads. We especially tell girls one thing, boys another. How are all those guys supposed to score if all the girls are "good"? We need to take the puritanical Christianity out of sex and simply teach our children to be thoughtful and responsible.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny Randy. It's been a few blogs since I visited and your blog had for some time had been a favorite stopping point.
ReplyDeleteMy attitude today towards your thoughts and observations was 'so what'.
Since your public suggestion to off the old people you find boring I just can't take you seriously.
I enjoy your blog.
ReplyDeleteKeep up with the good work
Thank you Randy for telling my 'story'. First of all let me thank you for taking almost 12 years off my age....most people don't believe a women (62 this year) could possibly enjoy the an active sex life. As I said in beginning...it's all in the state of a woman's mind.
ReplyDeleteI'm not advocating immorality, especially in today's dangerous world. If that were the case, I wouldn't have remained celibate for 17 years. Dropping out of the 'sexual rat race' is at times a necessity.
We all come back when ready. Hopefully, people understand that part...until they do......they remain where they are in their sexual lives.
Believe me...the journey back is exciting, fun, and an experience to be remembered.
Randy,
ReplyDeleteI applaud you for the courage to live your life in the way that makes the most sense for you and gives you the best brainglow. I yearn for the open road, so reading your blog (as silly as it sounds) gives me that sense of escape and freedom. I know that the reality for me "on the road" would be quite different - I would just be lonely and shy and want to go home to my family.
Anyway, keep them coming. Your stories and observations can be quite touching. As for the fellow above who "cant take you seriously" because you suggest that maybe people in nursing homes and whatnot should be extinguished - I will say that my grandfather welcomed death for over a decade as he rotted away but was not allowed to die. Thorny ethical issues aside - it is an important discussion.
Masturbation or mutual masturbation is NOT sex. A handful of goo is a far, far distant second to the real thing.
ReplyDeleteYou're not doing it right then, Grace.
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ReplyDeleteSHE SAID: "The right person will cause that shiver of pleasure, and he will know...as she will."
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Having been married and divorced five times (twice to the same woman if that makes it sound any better . . . it took me a while to learn I could have sex with someone withOUT marrying them!), I never believed the above to be true until I found the woman of my dreams a little over one year ago. We're crazier about each other today than when we first met, and our bond grows stronger each day.
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Not so long ago, my Mom asked me if I had ever been in love. My response was something like, "What does THAT look like?" She told me that IF I ever had been, I wouldn't have to ask . . . and that IF I ever did fall in love, I would know. At the time, my internal response was total Valley Girl, "Whatever!" But NOW? I can testify that REAL love exists AND that compatibility AND chemistry are key. In my wildest dreams, I never imagined I could be this happy AND this sexually active when I'm nearly 58. I ride my bicycle 20 miles a day and I'm sure that doesn't hurt but still -- amazing. THANKS for "taking one for the team" to get the slinky story. (smiles)
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sail4free
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ReplyDeleteOn further reflection, I do have some reservations about anyone manipulating another's emotions simply to gain a desired effect. It reminds me too much of a book titled something like "How to Marry the Man of Your Choice." One astute reviewer said the name of the book should be "How to MANGLE the Man of Your Choice."
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My own record isn't pure as the wind-driven snow but that is one facet of my life I don't share -- and never knowingly would. IMHO, monogamy is the only sustainable mode where both parties can grow and prosper in the longer run. I don't think that makes me jealous or possessive, but if this tom cat finds anyone else messing around in his cat box, it's gonna' get ugly.
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sail4free
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