Monday, April 23, 2018

HOW TO POLISH YOURSELF AND YOUR FRIENDS

A MODEST PROPOSAL----This is such an obviously great idea I can't believe I'm the first to think of it.  (Perhaps it's the desert solitude here in the middle of Arizona--or the return of the warm springtime sun--or the grand vista of the mogollion rim from my doorway--that has fired up my brain to a creative pitch)  At any rate, I sit down at my computer and hurry to share this brilliant insight with you.

First let me frame the situation:
Observe these 8 rocks carefully.  4 are beautiful and 4 are ugly.  The beautiful ones achieved their beauty by being polished for  months in a tumbler with each other and diamond dust. 

Beautiful personalities likewise have tumbled with others for years to attain their beauty--
Winsome, charming beings so pleasant to engage. 

SO NOW FOR MY BRILLIANT IDEA--A QUICK WAY TO RUB OFF THOSE SHARP EDGES,
ROUGH MANNERS, GROSS BEHAVIORS, ANNOYING HABITS--in short all those things that stand between you and the splendid being you want to be.

It is a device that any of us can afford--available at a store near you.


Here I am modeling my device---readying myself for the grand adventure of becoming a better person.

The process requires two of these, one for yourself and one for a trusted partner and each of you will hold an activating device for the other's collar.

Now here's where the fun begins; you inform your partner of his or her behaviors that most annoy you and get a "polishing agreement".  Likewise they select one or more of your top faults that needs polishing off.

Then whenever the two of you are together, you wear your collars and carry an activator for the other's collar.  Whenever an annoying behavior presents itself, the partners "remind" one another
and voila!--you are on your way to becoming a beautiful rock.

Here I am being reminded that my house is messy...
at a setting of 20 for a practice run.  (even this practice session resulted in me washing my dishes)

I made a hurried phone call to my lady friend explaining the good news--how I was now ready to
clear up this habit she has of speaking in paragraphs instead of sentences--how I was all set to polish her to a beautiful crisp succinctness.  Told her to hurry over and get her collar installed.
We suddenly got disconnected.  I think something went wrong with her phone---can't seem to reach her anymore.
at

11 comments:

  1. Rob12:00 PM

    I'm sure there is no relationship between the electric shock collar and the broken phone, just a coincidence.
    Ya, just a coincidence.... Pretty funny though :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. kaBLOOnie Boonster3:47 PM

    But the real crystallography of minerals shows best when they are UNpolished. Especially when they have been recently fractured.

    Once polished, they all look the same: like ellipsoidal eggs. Boring.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous5:01 PM

    There are 5 Love Languages. Only 5. Most relationships fail because we don't identify which ones our loved ones, partners, family or friends "speak". We neglect to express our needs or learn their needs so no one acts accordingly, and, consequently no one feels loved.


    THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES

    #1-Some people need Words Of Affirmation to feel recognized, encouraged, supported and appreciated.

    #2 Others primarily crave Physical Touch, like hugs, cuddles and intimacy.

    #3 Then there are those who require Receiving Gifts, often dropping specific hints and are hurt if they are not fulfilled.

    #4 I am mostly this: I feel most loved when given Quality Time, creating special moments, without interruptions from phones, TV or unexpected guests.

    #5 Lastly, many expect Acts of Service with their day-to-day cores and activities.

    This not a gimmick, technique or theory. It just "is". Most of us are a combination of these with one, maybe two, that dominate us. The key is to not only learn our Love Languages through keen observation, but to utilize this information to sincerely convey genuine love to one another.

    Give it a go and see what manifests!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Randy10:54 PM

    kabloonie: for your coarse rough edge of putting an anchor on my metaphor--I prescribe a little "collar therapy" to polish you right up.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Terri Reed11:02 AM

    I liked the comment about loving and appreciating the rough fractured gem :) So what's the problem Randy with trying so hard to be a couple when being solo is alot more fun?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous12:03 PM

    Paragraphs when sentences will do? Well whaddya know... it isn’t just my wife... PS - don’t let her see that I posted this, at least until I can figure out how to get this shock collar to release...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Kat5:28 PM

    Randy, I know you have thought along these lines for years, but the truth is people are exactly who they want to be. If they want to be different they change their actions. I look forward to discussing the post I wrote on the 5 basic Love Languages with you...after your nap. Of course that means work. Then you can take another nap. ;-)

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  8. Randy8:50 PM

    Of course Kat. I'm all ready to clear this up--with or without the collars.:-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Grantos6:34 AM

    Hey Randy, just saw you on Without Bound, absolutely loved your sentiment and awareness of the world we live in today. You understand how to be happy, and it is truly inspirational.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Randy8:45 AM

    Thank you Grantos for your kind words. As dylan Thomas said: I not only want to be loved (appreciated), I want to to be told that I am loved (appreciated). The realm of silence is vast enough beyond the grave.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hawkcreek7:07 PM

    Thanks for the idea, Randy, but imposed control never worked for me, or for my teenaged son's.
    I know you were only funning, and I do appreciate the chuckle.😊

    ReplyDelete