Toward the end of our training we had a big-picture lecture on sex and meaning.
The sex lecture was very brief---and memorable. Word for word here it is:
WHEN YOU'RE HOT----YOU'RE HOT
WHEN YOU'RE NOT----YOU'RE NOT
over the years, I have found it to be accurate and helpful. How many embarrassed men and women
could have profited from a simple acceptance of what is.
The lecture on meaning was equally profound but vividly
illustrated. A volunteer was asked to pretend that being at the opposite wall was more important to him than where he was. He ran over there. The trainer explained that we had just witnessed a GAME being played. A game is a situation where what IS NOT is declared to be more important than WHAT IS. You are playing a game when you are MOVING toward what is not. (understand that even reading a book is movement in a game)
LIFE IS A GAME--he declared--where we are all pretending that what is not--is more important than what is. ( It may or may not be more important but It is necessary to pretend that it is in order to get movement in our lives.) WE NEED MOVEMENT TO GENERATE MEANING .
MEANING IS A FEELING OF ALIVENESS, PURPOSEFULNESS AND CONNECTION THAT EXIST ONLY BETWEEN THE BEGINNING AND END OF A GAME.
Notice that movement makes waves--like a boat moving through water we make waves when playing the games of life, Waves are the consequences of our action in the real world. WAVES ARE OUR CONTRIBUTION TO THE WORLD---a by-product of playing our games.
IT IS BENEVOLENT IRONY THAT BY PLAYING THE GAMES THAT CREATE MEANING FOR US, WE MAKE OUR CONTRIBUTION TO THE WORLD. (for good or ill)
ANOTHER TRUTH THAT HAS BECOME OBVIOUS TO ME IS THAT WE LOSE A LOT OF JOY IN LIFE BY REFUSING TO PLAY OTHER PEOPLE'S GAMES.
And then the training was over. The trainer told us with a smile that we were no longer jerks--we were graduates. And at that moment a thousand former graduates surged into the room applauding us and we them. It was a great moment. No one asked for their money back. I consider it the best $250 I ever spent.
Then we were sent out into the world with a book of aphorisms like these to keep in mind:
WHAT EVERYONE WANTS IS LOVE, HAPPINESS, HEALTH AND SELF EXPRESSION.
LOVE IS A FUNCTION OF COMMUNICATION
HAPPINESS IS A FUNCTION OF ACCEPTING WHAT IS.
HEALTH IS A FUNCTION OF PARTICIPATION.
SELF EXPRESSION IS A FUNCTION OF RESPONSIBILITY
YOUR ONLY ACCESS TO IMPACTING LIFE IS ACTION, THE WORLD DOESN;T CARE WHAT YOU THINK, WANT, FEEL----IT ONLY MOVES WHEN YOU ACT
LIFE IS A RIPOFF WHEN YOU EXPECT TO GET WHAT YOU WANT.
LIFE WORKS WHEN YOU CHOOSE WHAT YOU GOT;
ACTUALLY WHAT YOU GOT IS WHAT YOU CHOSE;
TO MOVE ON----CHOOSE IT
WHATEVER YOU ARE PUSHING AGAINST, YOU ARE STUCK TO.
UNTIL YOU'VE COMPLETED YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENTS---ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WILL BE ABOUT YOUR PARENTS.
IF IT'S COMFORT YOU WANT--LIFE IS NOT THE PLACE TO BE.
OK That;s what I have to say. Now I want to ask you: Who delivers the best wisdom--the religious gurus or the secular gurus?
illustrated. A volunteer was asked to pretend that being at the opposite wall was more important to him than where he was. He ran over there. The trainer explained that we had just witnessed a GAME being played. A game is a situation where what IS NOT is declared to be more important than WHAT IS. You are playing a game when you are MOVING toward what is not. (understand that even reading a book is movement in a game)
LIFE IS A GAME--he declared--where we are all pretending that what is not--is more important than what is. ( It may or may not be more important but It is necessary to pretend that it is in order to get movement in our lives.) WE NEED MOVEMENT TO GENERATE MEANING .
MEANING IS A FEELING OF ALIVENESS, PURPOSEFULNESS AND CONNECTION THAT EXIST ONLY BETWEEN THE BEGINNING AND END OF A GAME.
Notice that movement makes waves--like a boat moving through water we make waves when playing the games of life, Waves are the consequences of our action in the real world. WAVES ARE OUR CONTRIBUTION TO THE WORLD---a by-product of playing our games.
IT IS BENEVOLENT IRONY THAT BY PLAYING THE GAMES THAT CREATE MEANING FOR US, WE MAKE OUR CONTRIBUTION TO THE WORLD. (for good or ill)
ANOTHER TRUTH THAT HAS BECOME OBVIOUS TO ME IS THAT WE LOSE A LOT OF JOY IN LIFE BY REFUSING TO PLAY OTHER PEOPLE'S GAMES.
And then the training was over. The trainer told us with a smile that we were no longer jerks--we were graduates. And at that moment a thousand former graduates surged into the room applauding us and we them. It was a great moment. No one asked for their money back. I consider it the best $250 I ever spent.
Then we were sent out into the world with a book of aphorisms like these to keep in mind:
WHAT EVERYONE WANTS IS LOVE, HAPPINESS, HEALTH AND SELF EXPRESSION.
LOVE IS A FUNCTION OF COMMUNICATION
HAPPINESS IS A FUNCTION OF ACCEPTING WHAT IS.
HEALTH IS A FUNCTION OF PARTICIPATION.
SELF EXPRESSION IS A FUNCTION OF RESPONSIBILITY
YOUR ONLY ACCESS TO IMPACTING LIFE IS ACTION, THE WORLD DOESN;T CARE WHAT YOU THINK, WANT, FEEL----IT ONLY MOVES WHEN YOU ACT
LIFE IS A RIPOFF WHEN YOU EXPECT TO GET WHAT YOU WANT.
LIFE WORKS WHEN YOU CHOOSE WHAT YOU GOT;
ACTUALLY WHAT YOU GOT IS WHAT YOU CHOSE;
TO MOVE ON----CHOOSE IT
WHATEVER YOU ARE PUSHING AGAINST, YOU ARE STUCK TO.
UNTIL YOU'VE COMPLETED YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENTS---ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WILL BE ABOUT YOUR PARENTS.
IF IT'S COMFORT YOU WANT--LIFE IS NOT THE PLACE TO BE.
OK That;s what I have to say. Now I want to ask you: Who delivers the best wisdom--the religious gurus or the secular gurus?
That was very good!
ReplyDeleteI wonder how my much I will actually be able to put into my daily life?
The movement idea is central; the Earth moves around the Sun at thousands of MPH, the Solar system moves even faster around the central black hole of our Galaxy, and the Galaxy moves outward generally away from it's neighbors.
ReplyDeleteSince we are moving so fast physically, the complimentary action is mental movement.
The Sufi's fascination with rotation pared with the mental focus on the 'beloved' is complementary and symmetric.
And as a woodworker, I know using the lathe can clean up a piece of wood to marvelous shaped container. But the object seems very abstract next to a artful sculpture, which is more person.
I'd be interested in hearing about the movement momentum of RVers.
Bushman
Some interesting and useful stuff here. The religious vs. secular question - I’m not one for labels (black, white, gay, straight, religious, secular, etc.) We’re all human beings. Truth is truth - why does the source matter? If Tony Robbins says something, it’s either true or not. If Rick Warren does, it’s also true or not. I’ve consumed a lot of Robbins’ stuff - none of Warren’s, Some truth is only true for me; some is universal. My only responsibility, I think, is to determine what’s true and act accordingly.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting stuff Randy. I would be interested in a class like that! Linda
ReplyDeleteSo when does your class start, Randy?
ReplyDeleteMitchell
Thank you Randy. I recall you once said "meaning is the thrill of personal evolution". I've kept that quote close by as a reminder that it is in fact thrilling - not knowing the outcome of the game, knowing it's a game, and still paying with gusto. Thank you for sharing your waves of wisdom, we sincerely appreciate your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your comments. I hope you find these perspectives useful. I astonished myself by pulling all that stuff out of my memory. It speaks well for the training.
ReplyDeleteRandy, I doubt that you need any "training"...Also, I suspect that you will eventually lose the idea of life as "games"...It's much
ReplyDeletetoo complicated for that box..Finding meaning is a quiet endeavor, not something that you discover by movement or interaction
with others, just from your own learning and thinking and close observation...