HOW TO POLISH YOURSELF AND YOUR FRIENDS

A MODEST PROPOSAL----This is such an obviously great idea I can't believe I'm the first to think of it.  (Perhaps it's the desert solitude here in the middle of Arizona--or the return of the warm springtime sun--or the grand vista of the mogollion rim from my doorway--that has fired up my brain to a creative pitch)  At any rate, I sit down at my computer and hurry to share this brilliant insight with you.

First let me frame the situation:

Observe these 8 rocks carefully.  4 are beautiful and 4 are ugly.  The beautiful ones achieved their beauty by being polished for  months in a tumbler with each other and diamond dust. 

Beautiful personalities likewise have tumbled with others for years to attain their beauty--

Winsome, charming beings so pleasant to engage. 

SO NOW FOR MY BRILLIANT IDEA--A QUICK WAY TO RUB OFF THOSE SHARP EDGES,
ROUGH MANNERS, GROSS BEHAVIORS, ANNOYING HABITS--in short all those things that stand between you and the splendid being you want to be.

It is a device that any of us can afford--available at a store near you.

Here I am modeling my device---readying myself for the grand adventure of becoming a better person.

The process requires two of these, one for yourself and one for a trusted partner and each of you will hold an activating device for the other's collar.

Now here's where the fun begins; you inform your partner of his or her behaviors that most annoy you and get a "polishing agreement".  Likewise they select one or more of your top faults that needs polishing off.

Then whenever the two of you are together, you wear your collars and carry an activator for the other's collar.  Whenever an annoying behavior presents itself, the partners "remind" one another
and voila!--you are on your way to becoming a beautiful rock.

Here I am being reminded that my house is messy...

at a setting of 20 for a practice run.  (even this practice session resulted in me washing my dishes)

I made a hurried phone call to my lady friend explaining the good news--how I was now ready to
clear up this habit she has of speaking in paragraphs instead of sentences--how I was all set to polish her to a beautiful crisp succinctness.  Told her to hurry over and get her collar installed.
We suddenly got disconnected.  I think something went wrong with her phone---can't seem to reach her anymore.

THE KING OF KODGERS MAKES A SPEECH--part three

Toward the end of our training we had a big-picture lecture on sex and meaning.

The sex lecture was very brief---and memorable.  Word for word here it is:

WHEN YOU'RE HOT----YOU'RE HOT

WHEN YOU'RE NOT----YOU'RE NOT

over the years, I have found it to be accurate and helpful.  How many embarrassed men and women

could have profited from a simple acceptance of what is.

The lecture on meaning was equally profound but vividly
illustrated.  A volunteer was asked to pretend that being at the opposite wall was more important to him than where he was.  He ran over there.  The trainer explained that we had just witnessed a GAME being played.  A game is a situation where what IS NOT is declared to be more important than WHAT IS. You are playing a game when you are MOVING toward what is not.  (understand that even reading a book is movement in a game)
LIFE IS A GAME--he declared--where we are all pretending that what is not--is more important than what is. ( It may or may not be more important but It is necessary to pretend that it is in order to get movement in our lives.)  WE NEED MOVEMENT TO GENERATE  MEANING .

MEANING IS A FEELING OF ALIVENESS, PURPOSEFULNESS AND CONNECTION THAT EXIST ONLY BETWEEN THE BEGINNING AND END OF A GAME.

Notice that movement makes waves--like a boat moving through water we make waves when playing the games of life,  Waves  are the consequences of our action in the real world.  WAVES ARE OUR CONTRIBUTION TO THE WORLD---a by-product of playing our games.

IT IS BENEVOLENT IRONY THAT BY PLAYING THE GAMES THAT CREATE MEANING FOR US, WE MAKE OUR CONTRIBUTION TO THE WORLD. (for good or ill)

ANOTHER TRUTH THAT HAS BECOME OBVIOUS TO ME IS THAT WE LOSE A LOT OF JOY IN LIFE BY REFUSING TO PLAY OTHER PEOPLE'S GAMES.

And then the training was over. The trainer told us with a smile that we were no longer jerks--we were graduates.  And at that moment a thousand former graduates surged into the room applauding us and we them.  It was a great moment. No one asked for their money back.  I consider it the best $250 I ever spent.
Then we were sent out into the world with a book of aphorisms like these to keep in mind:

WHAT EVERYONE WANTS IS LOVE, HAPPINESS, HEALTH AND SELF EXPRESSION.
LOVE IS A FUNCTION OF COMMUNICATION
HAPPINESS IS A FUNCTION OF ACCEPTING WHAT IS.
HEALTH IS A FUNCTION OF PARTICIPATION.
SELF EXPRESSION IS A FUNCTION OF RESPONSIBILITY

YOUR ONLY ACCESS TO IMPACTING LIFE IS ACTION,  THE WORLD DOESN;T CARE WHAT YOU THINK, WANT, FEEL----IT ONLY MOVES WHEN YOU ACT

LIFE IS A RIPOFF WHEN YOU EXPECT TO GET WHAT YOU WANT.
LIFE WORKS WHEN YOU CHOOSE WHAT YOU GOT;
ACTUALLY WHAT YOU GOT IS WHAT YOU CHOSE;
TO MOVE ON----CHOOSE IT

WHATEVER YOU ARE PUSHING AGAINST, YOU ARE STUCK TO.

UNTIL YOU'VE COMPLETED YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENTS---ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WILL BE ABOUT YOUR PARENTS.

IF IT'S COMFORT YOU WANT--LIFE IS NOT THE PLACE TO BE.

OK  That;s what I have to say.  Now I want to ask you:  Who delivers the best wisdom--the religious gurus or the secular gurus?

THE KING OF KODGERS MAKES A SPEECH----part two

...continued from 4/17/18

The training continued in 15 hour days. We spent hours and hours on the right/wrong game. That lesson alone was worth the $250 price of admission.  It has stayed with me all these years and saved me from countless useless squabbles.  I know wrong making when I see it in others and in myself and in national disputes.  (Wars are giant wrong makings)

We spent hours answering the question WHO DID IT TO US?  At the end of a tumultuous day, most of us came to see that WE DID IT TO OURSELVES!  That day was tumultuous because many of us were convinced that we were innocent victims of bad people.  THEY did it to us. 100 sad stories were presented to the trainer making that point.  The trainer let none of them get away with it.  With brilliant questioning--step by step the trainer led them to the inescapable and now obvious conclusion that WE DID IT TO OURSELVES.  The toughest challenge to the trainer came from a Jewish lady who asked if the Jews of Germany had brought the Holocaust down on their heads: Had they really done that to themselves? (I'm not sure he convinced us on that one but overall and in general I'm persuaded that I've brought most of my misery on myself.)

And even if I did not cause my misery I am very clear to this day that I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR IT-----responsible, not in the sense of causation  but simply responding to whatever shows up in my life requiring response. 

We spent long hours developing a new attitude toward problems.  Turns out, there are no problem free zones --other than death.  And that they are neither good nor bad----but simply the NEXT THING TO DO. 

How humans get screwed up was explained in a long philosophical lecture about how events of our childhood put "kinks"in our attitudes, feelings and behaviors that cause us problems in adulthood.

How to deal with our "kinks" was the aim of a major exercise.  The basic theory is that 

RE-CREATION CAUSES DISAPPEARANCE.  That is--when you look very carefully--in detail--at one of your kinks--it will slowly disappear.  (I have found this curious theory to be true for myself--and if you think about it, this is basically how Freudian therapy works)

We had a fear exercise involving a lot of yelling and at the end of which you see how foolish most of your fears are.

to be continued tomorrow......

THE KING OF KODGERS MAKES A SPEECH

(don't think me presumptious to call myself King of Kodgers----I was elected to this status at the Kodger rendezvous at (appropriately) the infamous SLABS. Check that out here

My friends in Yuma invited me to speak on a subject of my choice to their group, the Unitarians.
I chose the topic:                 

SECULAR ENLIGHTENMENT

Where oh where are ya gonna go to get answers to the puzzle of life?  Ya gonna believe the religious guys like Rick Warren--author of a best seller, THE PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE?  They want you to believe a story about Gods and Holy books and let your life be guided by mystical messages and forces toward the good life.  They believe that the  truth about the human situation is revealed rather than discovered----That the important truths about life are already known-----and  that our job is to obey them.

Secular gurus like Tony Robbins make no such cosmic claims.  They offer earthly wisdom; the accumulated experience of a hundred thousand years of human trial and error and thought. (like this  tidbit of Chinese wisdom:  Walking through your neighbor's melon patch is a bad time to adjust your sandals.)

So who ya gonna be guided by? The religious guys or the secular guys? I'm glad you asked---I've had a good dose of both schools of thought--I went to the seminary for 2 years and later, I completed the EST training in secular enlightenment.  I'll give you my best judgement.

In the late 70's a newspaper article told of a guy in San Francisco who could fix whatever ails you in 60 hours flat---guaranteed.  If at the end of the course you were not convinced that your head was now on straight---fixed forever---you got your money back.  Fair enough--I drove there and gave them $250--signed an agreement to arrive on time for every session--not leave the room till dismissed--not speak without permission--take the first available seat, front to back.--and then I  showed up with 200 or so others in a hotel ballroom.

The trainer --a handsome guy of about 30--stern of contenance, mounted the platform and began to yell at us; He said:  YOU'RE ALL JERKS---every one of you--and I'll tell you why: 

YOU'RE ONLY HALF ALIVE!
YOU LIVE LIKE A ROBOT--IN THE GRIP OF YOUR CONDITIONING!
JERKED AROUND BY YOUR BELIEFS!
YOU WONT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE!
YOU WON'T KEEP YOUR AGREEMENTS!
YOU HAVE A BAD ATTITUDE TOWARD YOUR PROBLEMS!
YOU'D RATHER BE RIGHT THAN SATISFIED.
YOU RUN YOUR RACKETS ON THE WORLD---trying to squeeze out  ego juice.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT YOURSELF.

Take a deep breath.  (and they did) Now Notice that at the base of your nose is a slight cooling.
That's a real experience!-------and you will be practically enlightened when you know the difference between a thought and an experience.

WE'RE NOT GOING TO FIX YOU---YOU'RE GOING TO FIX YOU.
And here's how:
We will REHABILITATE your ability to EXPERIENCE----so that you gradually clear up  your "stuff"----just in the natural course of living.

What ails you is that you have lost the ability to experience life.

to be continued- tomorrow