I wrote it in 1981 and have presented it perhaps a hundred times to Unitarian Churches Nationwide.
I had more hair in those days
----- had my 15 minutes of fame on Radio and even Christian television as we debated on air.
By phone and comment I've been dared to let this Genie out of its bottle---So what the hell---here goes:
It's too much for one blog entry so I'll just do it in bite sized installments
Laurie somehow managed to capture a sample of me in full-throttle rant and you can hear it on youtube. Please don't click on it till you read the set-up. (You'll think I'm crazy)
Years ago, My Unitarian friends in New Orleans, knowing I was trained to preach in a Baptist Seminary and knowing I had quit believing in conventional religion, suggested that I preach a Unitarian Sermon in the style of an Evangelical fire and brimstone preacher. I did so and it was a hit---preached it around the nation----- still do it occasionally.
First, a word about Unitarian/Universalist. If you don't know who they are or what they don't believe---you'd be surprised that any church would dare hear a speech like this. They are a very small denomination. Google them on Wikipedia to get the gist of them. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitarianism They are about 40% Atheist---40% Agnostics and 20% hodge podge. They have rejected doctrines and embraced values and community----are proud to count 4 presidents in their numbers: Jefferson, both Adams and Taft. Also Emerson, Thoreau and a long list of thinking people you can check out. http://www.adherents.com/largecom/fam_unitarian.html
So----only Unitarians are open minded enough to hear a sermon such as this.
I told my audience that we lose a lot of joy in life by refusing to play other people's games-----and invited them to play the revival game with me. (we practiced shouting out HALLELUJAH---PRAISE THE LORD and AMEN ) I told them that I would be "breaking some eggs" but that I intended to "make an omelet"--so stick with me.
(at the end of this segment I will put the youtube link so you can hear me in full-throttle rant) Really, I do get more positive as the speech goes on.
BELIEVE AND BE DAMNED
We
got trouble – TROUBLE – right here in "Yuma city,"
with a capital "T" and that rhymes with "B" and
that stands for BELIEF.
My
friends, we have a city full of people who are running away from life
and into religion--- trying to find security in a belief
system.
At
this very moment, in this very city, there are several hundred people
of one denomination worshiping with great fervor. What they have in
common is a belief---a belief in an infallible book. Yes, you heard me right!
I mean to say, they believe this book contains the infallible word
of God, every jot and every tittle. What they want ----- is to
transform this world into their version--- of that book.
YOU
WOULDN'T LIKE THAT WORLD, WOULD YOU?
(Audience:
No-o-o-o!)
In
this denomination alone there are thirteen million people. We got
TROUBLE!
(Laughter)
In
another church in this city, even as I speak, 800 people are engaging
in a very devotional worship. What they have in common is the belief
in an infallible man.
Yes, you heard me right! I mean to say, they believe that when this man
speaks on faith, morals (ex
cathedra,)---he is
infallible. what they want is a world that reflects their
ethical view. You wouldn't like that world either.
(Murmurs)
Well,
brace yourself. Do you know how many people
believe
that? Worldwide, 1.2 billion people. We got
TROUBLE!
(Audience:
Amen!)
I
tell you an astonishing thing: there is another group worshipping at this moment in this city who
believe in a golden book! Yes, you heard me right, a golden book!
They believe that Joseph Smith dug out of a hillside in New York the
Book of Mormon, which is the Infallible word of God and the perfect
plan for the implementation of God's kingdom on earth. You know how
many people believe that? Fourteen million people. We got TROUBLE!
(Audience:
We got trouble!)
I'll
tell you an ugly thing this morning. On the ground in Jonestown,
Guyana, there were 900-and-some odd dead people – men, women and
children. The children were on the ground because
they were murdered by believers. And the reason the men and women
were on the ground because they believed. (I have a cynical
friend who says, "At least, it removed them from the gene
pool.") The People's Temple is just one of hundreds of cults
that swallow up the lives of millions of people. What all cults
have in common is --- belief--- that they have received from God a revelation, and/or divinely appointed leader. This absolute authority
requires absolute submission and total life commitment. Cults are
the most deadly form of belief system. In the vast swamp of
religion, cults are the quicksand. We got TROUBLE!
(Audience:
Amen!)
We
have trouble in the Islamic world. About a billion people really believe that Mohammed flew to heaven on a winged horse and that an Angel dictated the Koran to him----that it contains the infallible word of God. They want to make the whole world Islamic. Many want to impose harsh Sharia law on everybody. And I don't need to remind you that the 911 terrorists were all Muslims. Sam Harris in his bestselling book "The End of Faith" says that "Islam, more than any other religion humans have devised has all the makings of a cult of death". That it is a machinery of intolerance and suicidal grandiosity-----WE GOT TROUBLE.
(Audience:
Yeah! Trouble!)
The true believers that contaminate our world are not all religious. I remind you that Communist idealogy brought 70 years of world tension and warfare---killing countless millions. At its height, it had 2 billion people in its grip.----WE GOT TROUBLE.
(Audience:
Trouble! Amen!)
What
all these millions and billions of people have in common Is their
willingness to believe. Somebody tells them something is true
and they believe it,---- often for the rest of their lives--- – and
that's very bad news for the rest of us.
Isn't
it clear, my brothers, that the vast majority of people in the world
are committed to some sort of belief system that they consider to be
ultimate? Most of them claim to have received an infallible
revelation from God, but these so-called revelations don't agree
with one another. Each is sure that they are absolutely right and
all the others are wrong, or only partially right.
Isn't
it clear, my sisters, that the conflicts between belief systems are
a major cause of world tensions? Believers against believers! It
was believers who went on crusades. It is believers who wage "holy"
wars. It is believers who conduct inquisitions and pogroms and
witch burnings and censorship and moral repression and "blue
laws."
Isn't
it also clear, sweet people, that when one of these belief systems
becomes the overwhelming majority in a society. it will try to
impose its values on the minority. It will try to legislate its
view of righteousness as, for example, in Iran. Never since the
Dark Ages have so many people been so willing to believe so much
stuff. (Did you know that transcendental meditators believe they
can fly?)
(Murmurs)
Do
you think that any of these belief systems can prove that its
doctrines are true?
(Audiences
No-o-o-o!)
Do
you think that religious people are anxious to verify their cosmic
claims?
(Audience:
No-o-O-O)
Too
long we have been sentimental about these wild-eyed
fanatics, these self-righteous true believers. I stand up and say
out loud what you've no doubt thought many times: believers are a
damnable and a dangerous bunch! They're standing in the way of
progress. They're standing in the way of peace!
(Applause)
Believers
are not
peacemakers and they never have been.
Pretensions of certainty is what creates
wars and strife. They "know" they're right, that God is
on their side. The world has
suffered and is
suffering because people are willing to believe stuff!
(Audience:
Amen!)
It
is believers
who oppose effective birth control and abortion, who are trying even
now to take away a woman's right to terminate pregnancy.
The
pro-life fanatics would force the victim of a rape to bear an
unwanted child. Yes, they would!
(Audience:
Amen!)
It was believers in North Dakota last Friday who passed a law forbidding all abortions for any reason after the fetal heart begins to beat.
(Laughter)
True
believers value their beliefs more than they value people, and that
makes them dangerous.
(Audience:
Loud Amens.)
And
the stronger their beliefs, the more likely they are to persecute
others!
(Audience:
Amen!)
No
matter how loud I preach, somebody falls asleep. For the benefit of
those who just woke up, I will tell you what I have told
you.
(Laughter)
My
brothers and sisters, beliefs are like rats! But these rats carry
a plague!--- And the plague that they carry--- is Persecution – and
War – and Arrogance – and Guilt – and Wasted Lives!---- If I had
my way, we would make one heap of all the world's old ratty beliefs,
open the lid to that festering pit and
SWEEP
THIS ODIOUS VERMIN INTO HELL!
(Applause.
Cheers.)
Unbelieve!
UNBELIEVE! UNDO IT! DUMP IT! SHUCK IT! And be born again as an
honest human being who does not claim to know more than he really
knows.
END OF PART ONE--- To hear my one minute rant click here: http://youtu.be/SfnaCpORQoI
11 comments:
Great so far Randy, I agree completely...I was never able to "believe" in a religious group...that does not mean I dont have a spiritual side that connects me to the Universe and the Earth..the belonging to the Planet of Life is my church.
The You Tube was pretty dramatic!!
Excellent, all of it. I particularly like the phrase "an honest human being who does not claim to know more than he really knows."
Amen friend, Amen!
That's fantastic
I'm always curious about the tendency of preachers to appeal to "my brothers and sisters." They all do it.
In this case, the appeal is for a freedom from beliefs, so what is the reason for calling people "my brothers and sisters" when they clearly are not?
If you want to be free from silly beliefs, best start with the mode of delivery.
God was, is, and will always be...no matter what you do or don't believe.
L
YAWN
This is one of your very best creations.
I believe.... THAT I'LL HAVE A BEER!
(Audience: HOORAY!)
Randy, your dogma has it's own conflicts. Example:
" It was believers in North Dakota last Friday who passed a law forbidding all abortions for any reason after the fetal heart begins to beat.
(Laughter)
True believers value their beliefs more than they value people, and that makes them dangerous."
Clearly, these people of various denominations believe that life is sacred.
So, do you see how conflicting your dogma is? You are just as bad as the religious zealots.
Now, don't get me wrong. I sincerely think that the right to spawn should be regulated to those that are self sufficient. And with that our gene pool could become a bit more clear and productive.
Right Randy?
I didn't read it all but for the sake of getting this average joke out of my mind before it gets too late I'll just say, Needs more bacon and cow bell.
Your Wikipedia link says the following in part:
Though there is no specific authority on convictions of Unitarian belief aside from rejection of the Trinity, the following beliefs are generally accepted:
* One God and the oneness or unity of God.
So Unitarianism believes in God yet you claim the congregation is 40% Atheist and 40% Agnostic. If this is so then the vast majority of the congregation does not hold the beliefs of the church they are attending. I don't get it.
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