Wednesday, October 14, 2015

RELIGIONS OF THE WORLD--IN RHYME--Part 1 CHRISTIANITY

I'M GOING TO DO THEM ALL---ALL THE MAJOR ONES---and if you doubt that I can condense a complicated religion like Hinduism into a short poem--stay tuned.

Christianity

Backwards in time, all the way to infinity,
Three Gods in one formed a Holy Trinity.
They made angels and then gave birth
To all the stars and planet Earth;

A world of animals and a special plan
For two special creatures called woman and man.
In the image of God a her and him,
With freedom of will created He them.

One of the angels, a prideful hellion,
Led lots of others in a losing rebellion.
Banished from heaven and bitter as gall,
He hatched a plan to wreck it all.

He seduced the couple into sinning
That’s when death had its beginning.
Furthermore, all us kids and kin
Somehow inherit their will to sin.

And the wages of sin is death and hell,
An awful place to forever dwell.
But there’s one hope and only one:
God had a plan; He sent His Son.

His name was Jesus, born year zero.
He’s our savior, teacher and hero,
Born of a virgin, lived without sin;
Our way out of the pickle we’re in.

He was fully God and fully man,
Flesh and blood of a Jewish clan,
With supernatural power to raise the dead
Or feed 5 thousand with a fish and a bread.

He redefined God as mercy and love,
A caring Father in heaven above.
Then He died on a cross to pay for our sin
And 3 days later was alive again.

He lingered awhile then His mission ended
At the Mount of Olives, where He ascended.
Somehow the death of God’s own son
Atones for all the sins we’ve done.

But there’s a catch in this Christian plan:
You must believe, repent, and be born again.
If you don’t believe and won’t repent
Then after death to hell you’re sent.

If you do believe and do repent,
Your life is blessed and more content.
And when you die to heaven you’ll fly,
The ultimate pie in the ultimate sky.

This whole story is written in a book,
And all these doctrines if you carefully look.
The book is called the Holy Bible,
Inspired by God so it’s surely reliable.

And Christians believe Christ will return.
Then the righteous will rise and the wicked will burn.
Sheep and goats sent a separate way

As history ends on Judgement Day.


RANDY PHILOSOPHIZES:  This is a ridiculous story--just on the face of it.  It was pieced together from several myths and ideas floating around the middle east by one man: the apostle Paul.
It struggled awhile with a complicated competing myth called Gnosticism.  Christianity won out largely by the use of force.
Most of the one billion Christians know very little about their religion--It is mostly a comforting culture for people too lazy to think.  It has done incalculable damage to people's minds and even bodies.  There is no convincing evidence for the truth of this myth.

Next up Judiaism!

22 comments:

Michael said...

Randy, excellent deployment of verse, as usual.

One ironic point: The history of religion is rife with fierce, and at times very bloody, disagreement about just what it is their own tradition and holy books teach. One of the sources of greatest damage religion has inflicted upon human history is the tendency to differ and splinter on matters of doctrine, and use such differences as justification for persecution and killing and war.

As your poem illustrates, even an uncontested account of religion--when stated clearly--is rather difficult to see as worthwhile. But when we remember that religionists cannot seem to agree on just what it is their religion teaches...and that this tendency to "righteous" disagreement has caused so much suffering and mayhem, religion is even less attractive.

Theologians could debate for two thousand years, and in as many ways--and have--about the specifics touched on in your lines, and whether they are the "true" teachings of (in this case) Christianity. For one example: Upon precisely what does salvation depend--whether on faith alone (and if so, what exactly constitutes faith?), faith and repentance of past bad deeds, faith plus good deeds, faith plus baptism in water, etc., etc. (And some of these differing notions of such requirements seem to go back to different books or verses of the New Testament.)

So although theologians could not get through your poem without launching into a myriad of complex debates (with you, each other, or in the solitude of their own endless writings) all of which predictably solving nothing, surely that fractious and mutually exclusive set of over-certainties on their parts would only add to the point the poem is making.

Good work, as always.

Michael in OK

ejulie said...

LOL. Your philosophizing at the end is spot on, particularly for this Catholic-raised individual, rebelling after confirmation for the remainder of my days. Fabulous poetry, looking forward to the others. Thank you.

Argie7 said...

Fantastic ! The most condensed version of a religion based on an incredibly complicated fairy tale (and all religions are just fairy tales that are taken seriously by some people). Keep them coming !

Wayne Wirs said...

Randy,

This morning, you sent me this email:

"Wayne: my blog has suddenly been invaded by pop up ads. if you will look at it you'll see that certain words are now highlighted with no rhyme or reason and ads pop up. Ever had this trouble? what is the fix?"

As a Mystic---a man who dances with the Divine on a daily basis---I find this funny in a profound way:

Immediately after posting your poem critical of God, you get hit with a virus.

Hmm. Maybe God's trying to tell you something. :)

Of course I'm only (sort of) kidding. But think about this:

Imagine a thousand years from now, a new religion has arisen called Randy-ism, based on the works of Randy Vining. Followers of Randy-ism, interpreting His texts in their own way, have raged a violent and terrible war on Christians and Jews, and Muslims and Hindus and Buddhist. Millions are killed in His (Randy's) name, all of which is based on what He wrote a thousand years prior.

My question to you would be, Was that your intention?

PS: The pop-ups you are getting are almost certainly NOT on your blog (I haven't seen them on either my laptop or iPad). The ads are almost certainly the result of a virus ON YOUR computer (probably from opening a suspect email attachment). Just run a virus scanning software on your computer which should find it and purge it.

Wayne Wirs said...

To clarify: The problem isn't with the Divine or those whom He/She spoke to, it's in Man's interpretation of the words and actions of the Divine. The problem is with Man bending God's words to for his own selfish purposes.

Kevin said...

Really good. Hope you include some kind of spirituality or paganism or shamanism in your evaluations.

Dan Arnold said...

Thanks Randy.
Once one finally steps outside a religion one has been immersed in, it seems impossible to accept one once believed it.
Summary of Christianity:
A god creates the world, then the rest of the universe.
He creates man and all the rest of the animals and calls them "good."
They immediately disobey him and commit murder in just the first generation.
God then reverses himself and calls all flesh corrupt and kills all, including the kittens and infants, save a single family of each species.
Immediately the one 'righteous man' he saves gets naked drunk and his son mocks him.
God then directs his favorite tribe to steal land and commit genocide.
Finally, this god decides he'll come to Earth himself so he can be murdered by his creatures so they can be "saved."

Editorial comment is not needed. The gross stupidity, immorality and absurdity of this scenario speaks for itself.

Old Dave said...

The dance of the Cosmos is such
That I cannot fathom it much
When I reach out for answers
I get only tap dancers
Which helps me not in a clutch.

rujo said...

Promising to pick off every insanity
Randy nails number one- Christianity.

Chef Ted said...

Great Randy. I hope you will include one on the New Ageism that I see so much of where I am working currently as well as one on Wayne's version of Taoism?

Stuart said...

Amen!

ron said...

Wayne Wirs, are you saying that you believe that the Bible is (or contains) directions/instructions from/by God to humans? If so, is that King James version or another version?

Ron

Randy said...

tHANKS ALL---ESPECIALLY loved the verses'
I believe I have the smartest readers.
Your comments encourage me to do my best
And yes--I will consider having a go at new ageism
and perhaps Waynes mysticism.
I say to my fellow Atheist/Agnostics/Skeptics: Be comforted--WE ARE WINNING: 20% of the population is more or less with us. Crazy religion is doomed.
New inspirational theories/myths? THAT ACCEPT THE BEST SCIENCE then speculate beyond it is a legitimate effort. They are often "prophets" & poets worth listening to.

Old Dave... said...

I have no love for retirement
But love is not a requirement
It's just that I'm old
And I've also been told
That it's better than early expire-ment.

Old Dave... said...

Last one, I promise.....

Non-dualists deny that you are
Just some stuff that is found in a star
That there only is One
Or maybe it's None
Either way you won't need that new car.

Wayne Wirs said...

@Ron: No. What I'm saying that the bible (and all texts of the major religions) are interpretations of "directions/instructions from/by God to humans."

And really, your comment is an excellent example of my point: I'm having to clarify what I meant by my comment. The "founders" of these religions---those people that the Divine was talking to---aren't around anymore to clarify their experiences, and thus the intention of these conversations between mere mortals and the Divine are ripe for misinterpretation (not only b/c of word of mouth errors, but because of cultural misunderstandings, political misuse, etc).

What I'm saying is that the seed ideas are pure (pretty much all religions when reduced to their lowest common denominator revolve around Love), but that these seed ideas were then corrupted by Man (sometimes intentionally, sometimes out of simple ignorance).

Wayne Wirs said...

I wrote a post a couple months back on misinterpreting religious texts, using the Garden of Eden as an example here: http://waynewirs.com/2015/the-garden-of-eden/.

Anonymous said...


Made by God His creatures deny
Though they clearly see from grass to sky
A world in balance perfectly made
In haughty defiance man puts on his charade

As time fast passes and older man gets
He hardens his brow and stiffens his neck
His Maker reaching out with nail scarred hand
Makes clear the path and clear the plan

But wise in his own eyes
The fool denies true God
As his lite flickers and dims
He's plunged into the sod

And NOW his former mocking tongue
Says Christ is Lord... but too late
For his song's been sung.


Randy said...

Thank you anonymous: I would almost swear you are my older sister that I love dearly. If not, she would say a similar thing.
Thank you for taking the time to put your poem together and the energy to send it to me.
Perhaps a hundred thousand people will see it in time.
I have pondered the most effective way to engage a believer such as yourself.
If I could arrange for you to sit in on an exchange between a Mormon and a Muslim---both ardent believers, you would come away with a clearer understanding of the religious mind that has swallowed a myth. On second thought--engage a Jehova's Witness and listen to his spiel. Try to show him the error of his ways.
I carry extra copies of Sam Harris' little book: LETTER TO A CHRISTIAN NATION and I would happily send one to you.
But I must tell you that you are losing the hearts and minds of the world. Christianity is dead in most of Europe and dead in the minds of the intelligencia. Unbelievers such as myself now constitute 20% (effectively) of America. The time will come when your myth will be in the category with Zeus and Thor.

lonnie helzer said...

How could you possibly know what God's words are...you are a non believer.

lonnie helzer said...

Randy is an atheist...get it!

Anonymous said...

You most likely will have to wake up in hell before you admit that what you are spewing out is totally wrong.
Who made you the knower of all?