I met him in Aug of 09 in Portland, Oregon when he came down from the mountain to meet me and discuss the pros and cons of living in a trailer. We quickly got philosophical and never stopped as we reconnected many times in the coming years.
Here, we connected in Salida, Colorado 2 years ago. A few days ago we made plans to connect in Wyoming after the eclipse. I lost computer service for awhile, then yesterday I received the same sad notice that all his friends received: "See you soon".
RANDY PHILOSOPHIZES: Here's my take on this extraordinary man and his extraordinary death:
1, HE WALKED HIS TALK. He said he would do this willingly when he felt the moment was right--and he did!
2. HIS BOLDNESS AND COURAGE WILL REFRESH DISCUSSION OF A GREAT MORAL QUESTION: DO WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE THE MANNER AND TIME OF OUR DEATH.
3. HE INSPIRES ME TO DIE COURAGEOUSLY BY MY CHOICE WHENEVER I WISH.
( Though I must admit that we also hurried to contact the authorities in his area when we read his note)
4. HIS INABILITY TO GET HIS PAIN ALLEVIATED AT THE VA HAS INSPIRED ME TO BRING THIS INCIDENT TO THE ATTENTION OF THE VA REQUESTING THAT THEY REEXAMINE THEIR PROCEEDURES IN DEALING WITH SUCH CASES. Did they take his complaints seriously---or just dismiss him with a handfull of pills?
5. I HAVE RESOLVED TO ASSEMBLE THOSE WHO LOVED HIM IN A CELEBRATION OF HIS LIFE THIS WINTER AT THE RTR (Rubber tramp Rendezvous) at Quartzsite, Az.
6. I TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO CONSIDER AND REVIEW HIS BASIC IDEAS:
A. Perhaps there is a God---who loves us.
B. Attempts to communicate with us directly---often through synchronicities.
C. Perhaps we are an immortal soul inhabiting a body.
D. Perhaps we will be reincarnated after we die.
E, Perhaps God wants us to live happy and fulfilling lives and guides us when we are receptive.
Wayne was not alone in his beliefs. Here's what my favorite poet, Walt Whitman had to say on the subject of death:
"As to you death, you bitter hug of mortality,
It is idle to try to alarm me.
No doubt I have already died many times before.
I wish I could translate the hints about those dead young men and women,
and the hints about old men and mothers
and the offspring taken soon out of their laps.
what do you think has become of the young and old men
what do you think has become of the women and children?
They are alive and well somewhere.
The smallest sprout shows there's really no death
All goes onward and outward and nothing collapses,
and to die is different than anyone supposed.
Has anyone considered it lucky to be born?
I hasten to inform him or her that it is just as lucky to die.
And I know it.
I do not know what is untried and afterward
but I know it is sure, and alive and sufficient.
Do you see oh my brothers and sisters, it is not chaos and death,
It is form and union and plan,
it is eternal life, it is happiness.
33 comments:
Aw damn, I saw his last blog pop up but I put off reading it till now...so sorry. As you know I worried about Wayne a few years back when he gave away all his belongings....but I was happy for him that he ended up on top again, he continued to stick to his beliefs and I admired that in him. I do hope he is with Her.
I am so sorry to hear this news. I admire you and your tribe of friends greatly! I hope to meet you all someday at the RTR. Please take care, and focus on the good.
Randy, the VA didn't give him pills. They must have thought that he was just trying to get oxycodone and didn't believe how
much pain he was in..Pain is not always or even usually visible and they certainly failed him.. Many people have a true need
for pain killers, my daughter among them..It doesn't mean that they are trying to get "high", just that the pain is too much
to manage....
Respects to your friend, but suicide is almost always a selfish act, especially if one leaves family behind. Best to his mother.
Jeff, I agree.
Having to take Wayne at his word, he lived a fine life by his own account, full and loving with many friends, and having thought about it decided to end at this particular time. I wish I knew whether he tried cannabinoids though.
Dying may be an illusion, and living too. We'll all find out by and by.
RIP.
Bushman
I remember Wayne well. A seeker. A smart man. Independent. He was a true believer. He will be missed by many. My sincere condolences to his family and to you Randy.
RIP Wayne.
Cargo Camping Dan
Sounded like a great guy. Sorry his life ended this way especially when modern medicine was not made available to him.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I enjoy reading your posts and all your musings. It's sad he wasn't able to get any relief from his pain and he felt this was the only cure. But after watching my mother deteriorate from cancer after a year long battle, I agree we should be able to live and die on our own terms. {hugs}.
It looks to me that he gave up a little too easily, for it to be caused primarily by pain.
I think that possibly the lack of human connection (typical of a lot of nomads) had as much to do with it as the hip pain.
It gets lonely on the road.
If I had the pain he was describing, which I did with a tooth, I would of done the same thing. The pain I had was so excruciating, if I had that any where in my body and nothing could be done, I would of done the same thing. I just happened to be in a dentist chair and the doc was working fast. You can have this kind of pain anywhere in the body. I do not see his decision as a selfish act. When a person is on a really tight budget as it sounds like he was on, medical marijuana is not affordable. When a person gets older, the body changes and pain becomes more intense and there are many reasons why. Having accidents with injuries are completely different when you are over 50. Even if you could get all the opioids you wanted for this kind of pain, you would be so doped up you wouldn't be able to drive or function and survive. I know about these things, I use to work in a few hospitals.
Pain can *always* be treated. Now if he didn't have any money, that's another issue that frankly was his own fault, but it's not because the pain *couldn't* be treated.
Hawkcreek, agreed.
I was stunned when I found out that Wayne Wirs, a friend and fellow nomad, spiritual teacher and mystic without a monastery died by his own hand after experiencing intractable physical pain.
I spent a summer getting to know Wayne when he would meet up with 'The Quest for Community Caravan' that I was co-founder of with Randy at the time so I was shocked and saddened to hear this news!
Even when we are spiritually aware and know death is a transition to another state, when we lose a loved one, the pain of loss touches the heart and leaves a void. I'm sending Waynes friends and family loving thoughts, blessings and comfort as they navigate the news of his death.❤️
Laurie
I have been following Wayne for several years via his blog and writings and participated in a few of his online experiments. I am sad that I will no longer receive his latest spiritual teachings.
I only wish he had been able to find relief for the physical pain that tormented him. Damn the VA!
Wayne, I hope your reconnection with Tao/Her/Source was joyous.
It doesn't make sense to me. If he was so enlightened, why did he run out of money? Money is not that hard to obtain (and keep) in this great country. It just takes perseverance and enought smart decisions. If reincarnation was such a sure thing, couldn't it wait for another 20+ years?
Yes, I'm qualified in case anybody wonders. I'm 2 years older than him and have been traveling the world for the last 18 years, the last 17 months in a van touring the US.
I read his letter, the man had faith.
I also read the comments... we are each given a life to live it as we will, Wayne did.
Please be open to hearing my truth. Pain can be an all consuming drain on your body, and your mind. I have lived with this truth for over 30 years. Whether it be a constant, never ending source of irritation, or the all encompassing excruciating pain of a flare up; pain is indeed a valid reason to choose death.If I believed that I had lived a life that fulfilled God's reason for my creation; I too, would choose the death of this torturous body.
I invite you to watch an interview that Wayne did with Buddha at the Gas Pump. If you listen, (as a believer or not), with an open heart; only then will you know that Wayne was NOT at all alone, or lonely.
Absolutely, pain can be treated. IF a chronic incurable pain sufferer can get access to narcotics, neuropathy meds, acupuncture, physical therapy, and counseling; it can be endured. At what cost? The freedom to live outside of this box, and all it's stuff? Just try to get opioid's today. Or get insurance to pay for acupuncture, or other alternative medicine.
Best to his mother (and brother). Having a child die first is a parent's worst nightmare. One that she has to carry the rest of her life.
Sorry for the loss but reading the story many things just don't add up so I am very skeptical. Sounds to me he was finished livIng in this world and he was looking at any excuse to end up. He said it many times in his post that he always looked forward to dying and that he was done with this world and his physical body.
I lived with severe sciatic pain for over a year until it finally ruptured and required emergency surgery. His death was preventable he just chose the easy way out so his family can now wonder for the rest of their lives if they could have done something to have saved him.
I never met Wayne in person but I read many of his articles, as you talked about him frequently on your blog. I did shed a few tears as I read his suicide note but also sensed he was at peace. His decision makes sense to me. I am all for humans being able to decide when they need to be released from their earthly bodies. Thank you for sharing about Wayne.
Susan
Exactly G
I started to feel so many things we do in our culture our backward at an early age. Now in my 50's I find myself struggling to stay in the rat race for the sake of my wife and minor children. Looking at several comments above I am saddened to see that so many still try to hang on to some "status quo" for living and dying---He was courageous to take his own life and it truly was HIS choice. Many of you see it as selfish. I do not. I took care of my mother the last 5 years of her life. She would never have wanted to be a burden on her family. After several strokes and complete paralysis she knew she had become just that. At the end of her life she clearly resented being kept alive. Perhaps if more of us thought this way it would make dying more honorable.
Maybe he didn't want to be saved. He had, as we all do, freedom of choice and we have no right to question his decision.
I was wanting to ask you some questions about your south of the border dentist if that's okay.
One is there anything one has to do here in the states before calling them and making an appointment?
Is it better to take cash or use a credit card?
Is this a good time of year to have dental work done there. Is it to busy or very hot?
Thanks and happy travels.
Nancy
Hi Nancy: Call me or write me direct: randythepoet@yahoo.com -- 602-402-9511 and I will answer your questions. I'm saving this space for comments on Wayne's death.
I just found out a former colleague took her own life after finding out she had cancer. She was young early 30,s. Maybe she was correct in doing this I can't judge just feel odd. It's hard enough to take care off yourself much more family, friends, and the world. RIP Wayne (and Teresa).
I have thought of this same topic many times over the least 15 years. Thankfully Wayne was in a position to still execute his plan. Many come to realize they want to depart and then find its impossible to depart due to physical or other limitations. For example many may choose to jump off of a beautiful bridge, but then realize you may need a ladder to just climb the railing or some liberal moron raised $220 million for a steel net under the bridge. Yes it’s also difficult or near impossible to get more then 3 days worth of low grade sugar pills, it’s just sicking how drug users of fentinal have made it impossible for the other 98% of responsible users to get pain meds. Yes most all conditions are treatable if you get first class medical care, something the VA and many other places are sorely lacking. I admire Wayne for having planned his escape plan, DONT JUDGE THE MAN IF YOU HAVENT WALKED IN HIS SHOES....
May he Rest In Peace
I second that, Patt Ladd, no one can understand, unless they've been down that road. I too have suffered over 30 years of chronic, oft times excruciating pain. It withers the soul, & reaches a crescendo, where narcs no longer have value, & plunges you into a downward spiral. I've made it my mission to find alternative solutions, & plan to bring those to the nomad community, eventually becoming one of them. Currently getting my ducks in a row, & planning to attend the 2018 RTR. I hope I can make a difference in the lives of those who are suffering as Wayne did. Condolences to all who had the pleasure of knowing him.
My deepest & most sincere condolences to all who had the joy of Wayne's friendship. May the memories you shared turn the pain of your grief into joy.
For those who didn't know, Wayne was a computer programmer. He had a very in demand skill and could have gotten a great job anytime he wanted one. He chose to live his nomadic life focused on spiritual improvement and then teaching it. To earn money he would sometimes take on computer programming projects. He wasn't money focused.
After reaching enlightenment it is difficult for someone to function in the world. The world doesn't look the same anymore. All that is seen is love. Everybody and everything is just part of the same thing, God. The view is that there is no real death. Everything is life and life can't die. Bodies can cease functioning but the pilot never dies. So killing his body wasn't really a loss for him. It was just shedding a shell that was very uncomfortable.
I'm not enlightened at the level Wayne reached. Through spiritual practices I can say I've experienced past deaths. That still doesn't take away the fact that I'm here now dealing with everything life throws at me. The expanded perspective I've got does give a little solace in knowing this life isn't all there is.
Some lifetimes are more significant than others to each of us. Have you ever used a paper tissue to blow your nose and thrown it away? After one of my deaths I popped out and left that life with no more care than I ever had discarding a tissue after blowing my nose.
Wayne didn't really lose anything by leaving as he did. We though, do feel the loss of our online friend.
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