A BOONDOCKERS BIGGEST BUGABOO----GETTING LEGAL

I come to Santa Fe, NM every year or two to visit an old friend, to take a break from travel ---to enjoy just sitting-- and this time to-- "get legal"---to register my new trailer, renew my truck and drivers license. Vagabonds like myself discover that this is no small matter---getting legal--because we, in fact have no fixed address--something that society insist that we have. So we do what all people do when faced with impossible demands---we lie. "where do you live?" seems a proper and necessary question for government---but for the two million of us full time travelers it can become a pain in the ass. I have friends who drove all the way to Alaska to get legal. Others make a biannual "pilgrimage" to South Dakota to "get legal". Down there is my legal address--thanks to my friend of 40 years--who makes me welcome and cloaks me with righteousness. See that tiny trailer left of center?--I lived in it for 3 years before selling it to him.

So I come and sit---right there--for two weeks or more.

My friend Bushrod--he eats healthier than I do--with chopsticks no less.

---lets me store my stuff too---that sailboat and that box.----and that's another bugaboo for mobile people. I wonder what others do who have no generous friend.

Bushrod and I have a TONTINE regarding our joint library of about a thousand books---whoever dies last gets the books.

RANDY PHILOSOPHIZES---IN RHYME

PICK A STATE---THE RIGHT STATE

Full time RVers must pretend
To live in a single state,
For every rig must display
A valid license plate.

Never mind that it’s a fib,
A necessary story,
For government’s not invented yet
Our legal category.

So we ask in long discussions
Which state shall we claim.
Oregon’s best if buying a rig
Is your immediate aim.

For it has no sales tax, nor Montana,
Nor Delaware back East.
But when it comes to cost of insurance,
North Dakota’s least.

Its also the state of minimum hassle.
But what about income tax?
If you’re making hefty dollars,
You need to know these facts:

No income tax in the state of Wyoming;
Alaska also has none;
Nor Nevada, Texas, South Dakota,
Florida and Washington.

It’s easiest in Livingston
To become a legal Texan.
And be sure to choose a state without
Those troublesome inspections.

The very worst state for your license plate,
As any full timer will warn ya,
For tax and tag and rig inspections,
It’s awful in California.

I’ve settled for New Mexico,
Cheap for this land sailor.
For minimum bucks, one can buy
A permanent tag for your trailer.

So declare a state that fits your needs.
Though regrettable and uncouth,
We tell necessary lies until
They let us tell the truth.