Tuesday, December 16, 2014


Here's a few more.
1. The hyper rush of sharing.
Lured away to Mexico by an old love living there--I went down to heal her broken heart--leaving my current lady twisting in the wind. (nice story in itself--the Mexico lady--she lusted for bullfighters--moved to San Miguel de Allende---got one---got two---was disappointed with both---unsatisfying lovers--their stomachs a mass of ugly scars---from bulls horns--and their penis's not matching their courage--their ego's unbearable---she jettisoned them and took up with a cheese seller---who broke her heart)
My work done--I returned to New Orleans to find my lady sleeping with one of my friends.  OOOh the pains of hell----FOR AWHILE---like a sledge hammer to the gut and then it slowly went away. We three conferred and decided to share the lady on alternate days.  She slept with me on Mon, Wed, Fri and him on Tu, Thurs, Sat.  Sunday she slept alone.  She did this for a month then quit--choosing to be with me---said of the experiment:  "It was thrilling for awhile but became exhausting---That her lovers were like rival bulls trying to outdo each other." From my perspective it was hyper exciting.  On my nights I would quiver with anticipation---find great joy in pleasuring her--exhaust myself in ecstasy. In the months afterwards-- when our passion began to cool---I would urge her to find another lover to "threaten me with" and bring back the hyper sex. We lived together for 5 years. (Miss "L" if you read this why not comment anonymously on your memory of this experiment )

2. Barroom strategies:
I've done some of my hardest thinking on this subject.  Here are my conclusions: Three elements to a successful connection in a bar: a. Show some--but not too much--interest.
                                                  b. Display credentials---subtly--like speaking intelligently.
                                                  c. Display aliveness---(your playful child persona) "promise" fun.
Turns out someone has written a master work on this subject: Neil Strauss's book:  THE GAME.

3. Contractual relationship:
I did this once---With the lady who went off to Mexico.  We read a book on contractual marriages and decided to try a contractual relationship---spent some time carefully drawing up our wants and then signing a one month contract.  Think we renewed it once.  Have forgotten what ended it---Oh yes--she moved off to Mexico.

4. Wrote a poem to men from "Mars"--explaining those "ladies from venus".  All in good fun but containing seeds of truth.

What Every Martian Needs to Know

A spaceship has landed with men from Mars.
And, before they disembark,
Gather to hear the tour director
Make his briefing remarks.

Men, we’ve come this billion miles
Because we’re incomplete.
And the thing that we are lacking
Is women, soft and sweet.

Earth is mating ground, but remember
Women have come from Venus,
A whole different planet, and there’s a world
Of differences between us.

We are mighty studs and stallions
With inborn driving need
To charm a lot of maidens and
Scatter lots of seed.

But these ladies here from Venus
Have a different agenda.
They only want one loving mate
And a cozy hacienda.

So love and sex are apples and oranges
To us Martian males.
But women won’t have them separately;
They insist on fruit cocktail.

Mother Nature’s thrown us a cross-purpose curve;
The solution’s still in doubt.
Couple’s must find a way to work
This contradiction out.

Meanwhile, men, go charm some lady;
Get kissed upon the lips.
And to help you in your quest,
We pass along these tips.

Ladies from Venus are like skittish rabbits.
Do I need to tell you, Rookie?
We must develop gentle habits
Pretend you don’t need the nooky.

Don’t get in a hurry to shed your pants.
Restrain that raging need.
Bide your time, and do the dance.
Love can’t be won with speed.

When women tell their troubles, you wanna fix ‘em
As soon as they’ve arisen.
But curiously, what Venus wants
Is just for Mars to listen!

So polish your manners; listen for hours.
Brag in moderation.
Fix her rig; bring her flowers.
Avoid inebriation.

Don’t flash money or flex your muscles.
They’ll think you’re an uncouth sap.
Women from Venus consistently
Reject all macho crap.

I know, I know, it’s a peck of trouble,
I can hear some of you say,
We’re jumping through hoops, we need love on the double,
Why, it’s easier just to be gay!’

But gentlemen, gentlemen, when the rose finally blooms,
When body and soul are a-quiver,
When joy and passion fill the room
With pleasures only women deliver,

You’ll sing with me the ecstasy song,

OOOh sweet Venus, where ya been so long.’ “ 

PREVIEWS OF COMING POSTS:  I think I will wrap up this personal history segment with a few more experiences from my thrown away life that you may find hard to believe--like an interview with Rev. Moon---founder of the moonies---and with Mrs Tanner--Brigham Young's granddaughter. Then I hope to make explicit the point I've been hinting at--what my life has to do with yours. When I've done this I will tell you what I've been doing in the past month.


VtChris said...

Randy Randy. So apropos. :)

Laurie said...

Randy, loved reading your poem yet would prefer to hear it recited with your flair for pomp and circumstance. Ever think of putting the poem on youtube for all the world to hear!?

Missing hearing your poems in person...Laurie

Randy said...

Thank you Chris
Laurie: Whatever fame on the internet I have or am likely to have is due to you.

Anonymous said...

Just curious, as to what your zodiac sign may be? (Scorpio maybe?)

Randy said...

Anonymous: Leo